27. Paula Abdul’s American Idol Affair

It wasn’t enough for ’80s pop star Paula Abdul to act a little loopy while serving as an American Idol judge. She had to go and boink a contestant (allegedly), revealing a darker, X-rated side to the family-friendly singing contest.

Two years after Corey Clark was kicked off the show for failing to reveal his legal rap sheet, the 24-year-old former contestant came forward to claim that he engaged in a “secret affair” with the 42-year-old Abdul. In an interview with the super-shady tabloid The Globe in May 2005, Corey provided voicemails from Paula as proof, accused her of seducing him in her guest room, and claimed she offered to fund his career to the tune of $2 million. According to the rag, the former Laker girl told the wannabee singer that she “wanted to look out for him and be his ‘special friend,’” but advised him, “Don’t screw me or you’ll be sorry.”

Corey continued to disobey Paula, dishing to Primetime Live about their supposed affair, conveniently coming forward right when his album and e-book were set to drop. All Paula would say is, “”Not only do I never lie, I never respond to lies.” FOX defended their celebrity judge, and their internal investigation concluded that “no evidence was uncovered to resolve the conflicts in their accounts.”

While Corey faded into Idol-reject obscurity, Paula stayed on the show to make headlines again in 2007 when she appeared on a local news show giggling and slurring her words. She came forward with yet another denial, asserting, “I’ve never been drunk.”

Sixteen-year-old Amy Fisher had been having an affair with Joey Buttafuoco since May 1991, but the married auto worker refused to leave his wife for his underage mistress. In May 1992, an enraged Fisher went to the Buttafuoco’s Massapequa, Long Island home, and shot his wife Mary Jo in the face with an Titan .25 semi-automatic, leaving her deafened in one ear and her face partially paralyzed.

Although Fisher, whom the New York tabs dubbed “The Long Island Lolita”, spawned not one but two TV movies (Drew Barrymore perfected Fisher’s vacant stare in the underrated The Amy Fisher Story), her story lacked a happy ending. After accepting a plea deal, Fisher served seven years at the Albion Correctional Facility, but her public humiliation didn’t end there. In 2007, Fisher’s then-husband Louis Bellera released a sex tape showing the now thirtysomething Fisher looking decidedly less Lolita-like.

Buttafuoco, for his part, served six months for statutory rape, got dumped by Mary Jo, and continues to surface as a one-word punchline on The Howard Stern Show. It’s enough to make a guy want to pummel someone, and in 2002, Buttafuoco got his chance when he thrashed female pro wrestler Chyna on Fox’s Celebrity Boxing. [Charles Bottomley]

Take a 13-year-old American girl, a randy (albeit brilliant) movie director decades her senior, and a nude private photo shoot in Hollywood’s hottest hottub (Jack Nicholson unknowingly donated his to the cause), and you’ve got the ingredients for a monster scandal — even without the champagne and Quaaludes.

After churning out some of Hollywood’s most memorable movies (Rosemary’s Baby, Chinatown), Polish director Roman Polanski was charged with rape, sodomy, child molestation and giving drugs to a minor. The ensuing trial dragged on throughout 1977, and public opinion around the world was split as to his guilt, with the European media blaming victim Samantha Gailey (now Geimer) and American media gunning for pervy perp Polanski.

The 44-year-old director Polanski ultimately pleaded guilty to unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor, and was sentenced to 90 days in state prison for psychiatric evaluation. But as the 2008 documentary Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired revealed, the director found out the judge was plotting a much harsher punishment and he skedaddled to France, where he remains a fugitive.

In a brand new twist, Wanted and Desired uncovered possible prosecutorial misconduct that could overturn the 30-year-old case. Too bad for Polanski that the film wasn’t made earlier — he might have been able to pick up his 2002 Best Director Oscar for The Pianist in person.

Just as it’s hard to imagine what life was like before the Internet, it’s hard to imagine what the Internet was like before it was full of celebrity sex tapes. In 1997, IEG Entertainment offered the world downloadable copies of Baywatch bombshell Pamela Anderson and Mötley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee celebrating their whirlwind 1995 marriage in a series of enthusiastic, onscreen sexual encounters.

As a nation marveled at the larger-than-life pairs that God and plastic surgeons had given the larger-than-life pair, a sleazy precedent was created: from that day forward, no celebrity’s PC or cell phone would be safe from hump-hungry hackers. And for all their outrage and legal action against those who profited from their purloined sexploits, no one benefited more from the tape’s release than Pam and Tom, whose name recognition skyrocketed in the months to come. Eventually, enterprising entertainers like Dustin Diamond and Chyna would actually provide their own erotic home videos to producers, in hopes of similarly profiting from a complete loss of dignity.

Celebrity-sex-tape culture has become so prevalent that Anderson went on to marry both Rick Salomon and Kid Rock, who appeared in pornographic romps of their own, with Paris Hilton and Creed’s Scott Stapp, respectively. Sounds like Pam has a type.

Pamela Anderson & Tommy Lee [Photo by Online USA, Inc.]

Pamela Anderson & Tommy Lee [Photo by Albert Ortega/Online USA, Inc.]

Tommy Lee & Pamela Anderson [Photo by Brenda Chase/Online USA, Inc.]

Tommy Lee & Pamela Anderson [Photo by Carlo Allegri/Getty Images]

Tommy Lee & Pamela Anderson [Photo by David Livingston/Getty Images]

Britney, light of our lives, fire of our loins! How do we love thee? Let us count the ways:

1. Your “One More Time” schoolgirl outfit. (Hands up, who rubbed one out to that?)

2. “Oops, I Did It Again.” The song that launched a thousand lazy Life & Style headlines.

3. Your 55-hour marriage to Jason Alexander, who later sold his story of shower-stall rutting to the tabs.

4. Swapping spit with Madonna at the MTV VMAs. (Our little skeez is all grown up now!)

5. Your reality show Britney & Kevin: Chaotic. Like I Love Lucy on Rohypnol.

6. F*cking Fred Durst. A mental picture that could make even grown men go “Ewwww!”

7. Driving with baby Sean Preston on your lap. Celebrities…they’re just like us!

8. Your impromptu tribute to Sinéad O’Connor.

9. Your VMAs comeback “performance.” (Still better than Bon Jovi.)

10. Your meth-fueled trips to Cedars-Sinai.

11. Dating one of the paparazzi who follow you around everyday. (And have a way of tying up our commute to the Scandalist office.)

12. The Blackout album. A lot better than most people think…[That's enough Britney Spears –Ed.]

Watch Britney sleepwalk through her VMAs “comeback”:

Britney Spears [Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images]

Britney Spears [Photo by Brenda Chase/Online USA, Inc.]

Britney Spears [Photo by Toby Canham/Getty Images]

Britney Spears [Photo by Getty Images]

Britney Spears [Photo by Vince Bucci/Getty Images]

Britney Spears [Photo by Vince Bucci/Getty Images]

Britney Spears [Photo by MIGUEL RIOPA/AFP/Getty Images]

Britney Spears [Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images]

Britney Spears [Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images]

Britney Spears [Photo by Scott Gries/ImageDirect]

Britney Spears [Photo by AFP/Getty Images]

[Charles Bottomley]

Once upon a time, the biggest pop star in the world was accused of molesting a frequent visitor of his Neverland Ranch and settled out of court before a criminal suit could be brought against him. He ignited global fury and another court case 10 years later by claiming in a documentary that he shared his bed with young boys (his accuser also suggested that MJ shared more than that and plied him with alcohol or “Jesus Juice”). He was eventually proven innocent by a jury but to pop fans who no longer want to be associated with him, he’s as good as guilty eternally. Where his career is concerned, this is THE END. Seriously.

Michael Jackson [Photo by Kimberly White-Pool/Getty Images]

Michael Jackson [Photo by Phil Klein-Pool/Getty Images]

Michael Jackson [Photo by Doug Benc/Getty Images]

Michael Jackson [Photo by MJ Kim/Getty Images]

Michael Jackson [Photo by Dave Hogan/Getty Images]

If only Monica Lewinsky hadn’t blown Bill Clinton! We know that Mr. I-Did-Not-Have Sexual-Relations-With-That-Woman wouldn’t have been impeached in 1998 for lying under oath. But there is so much we don’t know … Would a zippered Clinton have gone on to prove MVP in Al Gore’s presidential campaign and subsequent victory in the 2000 election? Would we be in Iraq? Would we have attacked a real enemy instead — global warming, say? Would we have affordable oil, a viable economy, friends who speak other languages?

Forget the sordid details: the blue dress adorned with presidential seed, the intern’s claim that the commander-in chief deployed a cigar-tube in her free-fly zone, the fact that she was only 21 when the “inappropriate intimate contact” began. Instead, join us in wondering: When Monica blew the president, did she blow everything? Maybe. (OK, probably.) That’s why we’ve ranked a few measly blow jobs between consenting adults as the second greatest celebrity scandal of all time.

Monica Lewinsky [Getty Images]

Monica Lewinsky [Getty Images]

Monica Lewinsky [Getty Images]

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Paris Hilton [Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images]

Paris Hilton [Photo by David Livingston/Getty Images]

Paris Hilton [Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images]

Paris Hilton [Photo by Michael Buckner/Getty Images for Belvedere]

Paris Hilton [Photo by Claire Greenway/Getty Images]

Paris Hilton [Photo by Junko Kimura/Getty Images]