The Pitt-Jolie Twins Are Worth More Than You

Here you go - the first picture of the latest additions to the Jolie-Pitt posse, twins Vivienne and Knox. We’re not gonna lie - they have yet to develop from shriveled newborns into adorable Ang-babies, but that’s because Mommy and Daddy dragged them onto the cover of People
(for a cool $14 million!)before they could open their eyes. But give ‘em a few months and we’re sure their cuteness will be making Shiloh prematurely insecure about her looks.

Angelina tells the mag that while raising six precious tots is “chaos,” the clan is also “having a wonderful time,” just in case Jennifer Aniston was wondering. [People]

Dear Katie Holmes and Rachel Bilson,

It is not 1984. It is also not 1985, 1986, 1987, 1988, 1989, 1990, 1991, 1992, or 1993. Therefore it is not appropriate to french cuff your jeans, no matter how avant garde you may consider this new old look to be. In addition, it is unfair to the average-paid women of America to go and introduce this trend just when we all got on board with skinny jeans and gladiator sandals. For though we loathe your look, we will follow you blindly, but will only be able to afford the $40 H&M baggie-roll jeans that will come out next year and will consequently fail at mimicking your new style.

Please, do us a favor: Bring sweatpants back instead.

Kisses,

Scandalist

Katie Holmes seen leaving rehearsals for her new play on Broadway in New York City flashing her new style.

Rachel Bilson - in rolled jeans and peep toe boots - with a pal.

[Images: Splash News Online]

Good for Michelle Williams. The girl undoubtedly has had what one might call a shitty year, so it’s nice to see that she’s found love with one of Drew Barrymore’s many rejects, Spike Jonze. The dude is every indie girl’s fantasy, as the director of skateboarding videos (and, oh, amazing movies like Adaptation) and the ex of alt-chick idol, Sophia Coppola. Also, he’s Oscar-nominated, ladies, and apparently treats Michelle and her elfish little daughter extremely well.

“Spike had a gentle way of just being there for Michelle. There was no pressure for her to spend time with him – he just wanted to be a loving, supportive shoulder for Michelle to cry on.” Yep, that’s a source dishing on their romance. Apparently all these people are poets in their spare time, too.

Flavor of Love 3’s Seezinz follows the lead of other FOL greats and shows us some skin. Thanks. [Bossip]

Amy Winehouse’s dad is in denial, and thinks a “friend” spiked his daughter’s drink with the drug ecstasy. And the friend’s name rhymes with Mamy Minemouse. [DListed]

Yes, we are made of stone, but even we cracked at the cuteness of Matthew McConaughey and his baby. [Seriously? OMG!]

These Gossip Girl guys might be getting all LoRonSon on each other. Or maybe we all just wish they were. [WWTDD]

Hef’s girlfriends look really…plastic. Still. [ONTD]

As the old saying goes, politics are dirty. But taking it down to Paris and Britney’s level? That’s just straight up crotch flashin’ nasty. And yet that’s just what presidential nominee Senator John McCain has done in his new ad (watch it above), comparing Barack Obama mania to the paparazzi-fueled hype that surrounds Hollywood’s hottest tramps (who really aren’t all that hot anymore).

John McCain has got to be kidding himself if he thinks anyone is going to believe that Obama is just like Hollywood’s tramp army. Our country digests as many tabloids as they do Big Macs, and we know our celebs! Aside from the fact that Obama’s missing $3000 worth of hair extensions, the only thing this guy has flashed in his life are his fist-bumping skills.

We’ll change our tune when Michelle Obama is replaced by Adnan Ghalib. [via Huffington Post]

On last week’s episode of Living Lohan (a.k.a 101 Reasons Not to Let Your Kid Go Into Showbiz), the show’s tortured starlet, Ali Lohan, was seen auditioning for a horror flick in front of two old dude producers. Turns out our pals at TMZ have identified one of the men as Peter Davy, whose past work includes the tragic tale “Bun Busters 12″ and the uplifting “Breast Wishes 14.” Yep, Peter’s a porn producer.

The meeting was set up by Ali’s agent (nice one!) and Dina, of course, freaked the f*ck out. But doesn’t it pretty much sum up the future of Ali’s career? She should just get used to meeting with porn directors now, because that’s what she’ll be doing for the rest of her life - especially if her Mom’s management skills have anything to do with it. Until then, we’re waiting with baited breath for the first installment in the Loving Lohan series.

Remember George Clooney’s ex-girlfriend Sarah Larson? Of course you do. She’s so famous, you don’t even associate her with the Cloonster anymore! She’s her own person! Her own brand! Famous for…oh, right - for f*cking George Clooney. But that didn’t stop Sarah from requesting that George’s name be removed from promo material pimping her appearance at Las Vegas club Tao last week.

“Sarah feels she is famous enough now,” a source reported. “She doesn’t want to be regarded as some famous guy’s ex.” So friends, from now on regard her as who she really is: A cocktail waitress who appeared on Fear Factor.

Let’s pour one out for the latest random Hollywood couple to call it quits. Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong have ended their magical love affair. It’s shocking, considering all the things they had in common, like their bank accounts and…their money. They were practically the same person! Still, we are relieved to know that there is now animosity or anger between the two, says a pal, “just sadness.”

We know who’s not sad right now - the single celebs standing in line waiting to date these two. Drew Barrymore and Justin Long just broke up, wouldn’t it be fun if they each rebounded with Lance and Kate? They’re all running out of famous people to bone and they gotta get their drama fix from somewhere! [Us]

New Miley Cyrus candid kissing pics: now with 10% more slutiness! [ONTD]

John Mayer’s O face is way less sexy with his new haircut (sorry Jeniston). [DListed]

Jerry O’Connell and Rebecca Romjin are adding to their cuteness with twin babies. [Seriously? OMG!]

Ryan Seacrest was bitten by a shark while swimming. In other news, I love sharks. [ICYDK]

Rihanna and Chris Brown go jet skiing in Maryland. Yeah, we don’t care either. [Bossip]

Lindsay Lohan was not hit by a motorcycle, no matter what her crazy dad says. [PopSugar]

Where’s LaBeouf? Why, he’s busy ruining that perfect little Hollywood career by getting piss drunk, hopping in your car and crashing into another driver while attempting a left hand turn at 3AM. Shia LaBeouf rolled his car early Sunday morning and seriously busted up his hand, resulting in a hospital visit, surgery and a one-month hiatus from filming Transformers 2. Oh - and of course, a felony DUI. The Beef was arrested last November after he wandered into a Chicago Walgreens all drunk and refused to leave. Obviously, he’s one classy dude.

The Beefster is trying to tell us something: he doesn’t want to be rich and famous, he wants to end up working at a Dunkin Donuts by the time he’s thirty so he can reattempt a career one day on some sh*tballs reality TV show. F*ck Michael Bay and Transformers! Shia wants to be just like the entire cast of Diff’rent Strokes - so far, he’s on his way!

That’s video of Shia’s overturned car above. It’s a regular PSA on why not to be a drunk douchebag, don’t ya think? After the jump, Shia’s mug shot …

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Sorry, regular peeps. There is absolutely no chance you’ll be considered for the role of god-father to the new golden gods, Knox and Vivienne Jolie-Pitt. Super famous kids need super famous godparents, and Bono’s getting the job, soley for the reason that it’s pretty f*cking cool to get money on your birthday every year from the dude who sings “With Or Without You.” Also, Brad and Angie are star f*ckers. Need examples?

1. A source says: “They have been friends for years. Brad is a massive U2 fan and told Bono how much he admired him when they were introduced at a party a few years back.”

2. The same source reveals: “Angelina is inspired by Bono’s humanitarian work and gets on with his wife Ali Hewson. Ali’s given Angelina some clothes from her ethical clothing range Edun.”