Citizen Scandal: Cop Loses Badge For Pushing Bicyclist

The police officer taped pushing a Critical Mass demonstrator off his bike in downtown NY last Friday (it happens at 0:24) has been stripped of his badge and given desk duty while the incident is investigated. The bicyclist is still charged with attempted assault, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct, but one assumes the charges will be dropped. No one wants to give bicycle demonstrators their own Rodney King, right?

The Joker’s true identity has been revealed! The mysterious villain that recently plagued Gotham City is none other than 20-year-old Spencer Taylor, who was apprehended in full regalia while attempting to steal Dark Knight posters and promotional materials from a movie theater in Three Rivers, Michigan. The diabolical villain was subdued by theater employees and handed over to local police. Hopefully the authorities, who are charging Taylor with felony larceny and malicious destruction of property, realize that keeping the criminal mastermind detained will be very, very difficult.

Famous people overdose on cosmetic surgery to appear young, young people overdose on cosmetic surgery to appear famous. With American surgeons refusing to operate on 28-year-old Sheyla Hershey’s 34FFF breasts after eight enlargements, the would-be model is off to Brazil to bump them up to GG with another 10 cubic meters of silicone - if they don’t burst first. We’ll make sure to light two candles for you, crazy.

Old people commit drunken crimes of passion too - or have we already forgotten Arrested Development’s Lucille Bluth? Prosecutors in New Jersey are charging Marlene Mackenzie, 76, with aggravated assault and reckless manslaughter for killing her 80-year-old husband with a cocktail glass. Mackenzie had been drinking early last Thursday when she accused her husband of infidelity and beaned him with her glass. Though she called 911 after realizing he had stopped breathing, doctors failed to resuscitate the aging player. Rule one of Citizen Scandal is “would a celebrity potentially do somethng like this?” Seeing as how it requires drinking cocktails on a Thursday morning, the answer is obviously yes.